In my previous blog, I discussed the building blocks of healthy relationships, delving into how our early childhood interactions and experiences with caregivers, and the world at large, lay the foundation for our adult intimate relationships.
As we journey through the early stages of life, we possess basic rights and needs which demand emotional nutrients to grow and flourish. Some of these needs are met, while others remain unaddressed. It seems that as we progress through these early stages of development, we encounter relational deficits and distress. To survive this distress and maintain our personal integrity, we creatively devise ways to avoid the emotional pain associated with our unmet needs.
In an ideal world, all our relational and emotional needs would be fulfilled by a nurturing environment, leading to optimal health and relational growth. Regrettably, life doesn’t always cooperate, and we often bear emotional wounds and relational scars as our caregivers grapple with their own personal and relational struggles. This deficient relational development is intergenerational and transfers through family systems from one generation to the next. We must recognize, however, that we are often doing the best we can with the cards life has dealt us.
Like any living organism, we need food and nutrients to grow and prosper. Similarly, our emotional growth requires nurturing and sustenance. Some of the vital components for optimal emotional growth include feelings of connection, security, safety, being seen, heard, and respected by our caregivers, to name just a few. Along with these essential nutrients, a child has basic rights which support them throughout their early developmental years. These rights include the right to exist, the need, the right to receive support, freedom, and love.
Genuine Relating investigates how these fundamental needs and rights have been fulfilled or neglected. If these needs and rights were not met during early childhood development, we consider how this impacts our adult behaviors and relationships with others and the world.
Genuine Relating partners with you to identify crucial emotional needs and co-create strategies to meet these needs in your relationships.
In forthcoming blogs, I will delve deeper into Genuine Relating, providing tools and strategies to enhance emotional intelligence and relational skills.